Church Bulletin Typos
These sentences actually
appeared in a church bulletin or were announced in a church service. Read them and weep!
- Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be
speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church
Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch
all the way from Africa.
- Announcement in the church bulletin for a National
Prayer and Fasting conference: “The cost for attending the Fasting and
Prayer conference includes meals.”
- Our youth basketball team is back in action
Wednesday at 8 pm in the recreation hall. Come on out and watch us kill Christ the
- Miss Charlene Mason sang “I will not pass this
way again” giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
- Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things
not worth keeping around the house. Don’t forget your husbands.
- The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has
been cancelled due to a conflict.
- The sermon this morning: “Jesus Walks on the
Water” The sermon tonight: “Searching
- Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the
choir. They need all the help they
- Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our
- Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church
- Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on
October 24 in the church. So ends a
friendship that began in their school days.
- A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in
the church hall. Music will follow.
- The senior choir invites any member of the
congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
- Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and
other items to be re-cycled. Proceeds
will be used to cripple children.
- For those of you who have children and don’t know
it, we have a nursery downstairs.
- Please place your donation in the envelope along
with the deceased person (s) you want to be remembered.
- Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and
heave a healthy lunch.
- The church will host an evening of fine dining,
superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.
- Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 pm – prayer and
medication to follow.
- The ladies of the church have cast off clothing
of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
- Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday
at 7 pm. Please use the back door.
- The eight graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s
Hamlet in the church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend the
- Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First
Presbyterian Church. Please use the
large double door at the side entrance.
- The associate Minister unveiled the church’s new
tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: “I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours”
- Our next song is “Angels We Have Heard Get High.”